Her name was Jersey. She was found hungry and alone outside a bar, and that’s how she got her name. She came to live with us, but with our 12-hour-long workdays, she spent most days by herself, waiting in the quiet. It was clear she was lonely, and it broke our hearts. **
The Lonely Cat
Our feline friends might have a reputation for being independent little souls, but the truth is, they can feel lonely just like we do. While your kitty might seem perfectly content lounging in that sunny spot by the window, there are some subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways they tell us when they’re missing companionship.
Here are some signs your sweet kitty might be feeling a bit lonely, and more importantly, what you can do to help them feel loved and entertained.
Your Quiet Cat Suddenly Won’t Stop Talking
You know how your usually reserved kitty might give you a polite little meow when you walk in the door? Well, if that sweet greeting has turned into constant chatter throughout the day, your cat might be trying to tell you something important. Some lonely cats will meow, yowl, or even howl as they wander around the house, almost like they’re calling out for company.
What you can do: Try having little conversations with your chatty cat when you’re home. Respond to their meows with gentle words – they often appreciate the back-and-forth! You can also leave a radio or TV on softly when you’re away to provide some comforting background voices.
Your Favorite Things Are Getting the Claw Treatment
Finding your couch cushions shredded or discovering mysterious teeth marks in your favorite shoes? While it might be frustrating, your cat isn’t being spiteful – they’re likely feeling anxious or bored from being alone too much. Destructive behavior is often their way of working out those lonely feelings or trying to get your attention.
What you can do: Provide plenty of appropriate scratching posts and interactive toys. Puzzle feeders can keep their minds busy, and rotating toys weekly keeps things interesting. Before you leave, spend 10-15 minutes playing with them to help burn off energy that might otherwise go toward your furniture.
When Grooming Goes Overboard
We all love how clean and tidy our cats keep themselves, but sometimes a lonely kitty will take self-grooming to an extreme. If you’re noticing bald patches, excessive hairballs, or raw spots from over-licking, your sweet cat might be stress-grooming because they’re feeling isolated.
What you can do: Gently redirect the behavior when you catch them over-grooming by offering a favorite toy or some cuddle time. Consider getting a few different textured brushes – many cats find being brushed by their humans very soothing, and it can replace some of that excessive self-grooming.
Sleeping Even More Than Usual (And That’s Saying Something!)
Yes, cats are champion sleepers, and we love them for it. But if your normally playful kitty seems to be sleeping away even more hours than their usual 12-16 per day, loneliness might be the culprit. Sometimes cats sleep excessively when they’re bored or sad.
What you can do: Try to establish play sessions at the same times each day – many cats love a good morning romp and an evening hunt session. Even five minutes of chasing a feather wand can perk up a sleepy, lonely cat. Consider puzzle toys or treat-dispensing balls that they can bat around when you’re not available to play.
Following You Everywhere (And I Mean Everywhere)
While it’s sweet when your cat checks in on you throughout the day, a lonely kitty might start trailing you from room to room constantly. They might sit outside the bathroom door, try to “help” with every task, or seem unable to settle unless they’re right next to you.
What you can do: Create cozy retreats in different rooms so they feel secure even when apart from you. Cat trees near windows, heated beds, or comfortable perches can give them their own special spots. Gradually encourage independence by rewarding them with treats when they relax in their own spaces.
Changes in Eating Habits
Just like people, cats can be emotional eaters – or they might lose their appetite when feeling down. You might notice your lonely kitty wolfing down food too quickly, begging for extra meals, or conversely, barely touching their usual favorites.
What you can do: Stick to regular feeding schedules to provide comfort through routine. If they’re overeating, try puzzle feeders to slow them down and provide mental stimulation. For decreased appetite, try warming their food slightly or offering different textures to entice them. Always check with your vet if eating changes persist.
Litter Box Troubles
A previously well-behaved cat who suddenly starts having accidents outside the litter box might be expressing stress from loneliness. Sometimes they’ll also spend more time in the litter box than usual, almost like they’re seeking a safe, enclosed space.
What you can do: First, rule out medical issues with a vet visit. Then, make sure you have enough clean litter boxes (one per cat, plus one extra is the golden rule). Consider adding an additional box in a quiet area where your cat can have privacy and feel secure.
Becoming a Little Troublemaker
Is your usually well-behaved angel suddenly knocking plants off windowsills, walking across your keyboard during important video calls, or getting into cabinets they’ve never explored before? Sometimes cats act out when they’re craving attention, even if it means getting in trouble.
What you can do: Instead of just redirecting the naughty behavior, make sure you’re giving plenty of positive attention throughout the day. Schedule dedicated play sessions and cuddle time so they don’t have to resort to mischief to get your focus.
Hiding Away More Than Usual
While cats love their cozy hiding spots, a lonely cat might start spending excessive time under beds, in closets, or in other secluded areas. This is often the flip side of the clingy behavior – sometimes they withdraw when feeling sad or overwhelmed.
What you can do: Don’t force them out of hiding, but make their hiding spots more comfortable with soft blankets or cat beds. Gently coax them out with quiet conversation, treats, or the sound of their favorite toy. Gradually increase positive interactions to help rebuild their confidence.
Changes in Sleep Spots
Has your independent kitty, who always slept in their own bed, suddenly decided your pillow is the only acceptable sleeping spot? Or maybe they’ve abandoned their favorite sunny window perch for somewhere closer to where you spend your time. Changes in preferred sleeping locations can signal a need for more security and closeness.
What you can do: If they want to sleep closer to you, embrace it! Consider adding a small cat bed near your bed or favorite chair. If the change seems to be about seeking warmth or comfort, provide additional cozy options like heated cat beds or self-warming mats. Plus, plenty of cuddles if they are within reach.
My Favorite Fix
** We decided to let Jersey go live with a friend who had a busy, bustling house, two cats, and three kids. There, Jersey came alive! Running, playing, and finally being the cat she was meant to be.
If you’re frequently away for long periods, you might also consider whether your solo cat would enjoy a friend. Some cats, like Jersey, absolutely blossom with a companion, though others prefer being the only star of the show – you know your kitty best!
Always Rule Out Health Issues First
Remember, some of these behaviors could also indicate health issues, so if you notice sudden changes, a quick vet visit is always a good idea. But for everyday loneliness prevention, consistency is key. Cats thrive on routine, so try to interact with them around the same times each day.
The most important thing to remember? Your cat loves you and just wants to feel connected. A little extra attention, some engaging toys, and lots of gentle affection can go a long way toward helping your furry baby feel less lonely and more loved.
